How Not To Talk To Your Kids

These videos are examples of how not to have conversations about puberty, body image and sexual bullying, and the choices and risks associated with sexual behavior with your children. While they may be “over the top” in some respects, these videos show aspects of conversations that our parents may have had with us or we may have had with our own children. Think about how these videos relate to your experiences. What would you do differently?




How Not to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty: Ages 9-11

A dad and his son are coming home from a hard fought basketball game. When the dad’s watch alarm goes off, we see him embark on his planned puberty “talk” with his son. Dad misses all of his son’s signals of discomfort and disinterest and plows ahead with his own agenda in order to check this parenting discussion milestone off his list. After this scene, it seems unlikely that the son will come to his dad with questions or concerns if he has to be subjected to an uncomfortable lecture rather than an honest and affirming conversation.

How Not to Talk to Your Kids about Body Image and Sexual Bullying: Ages 11-13

A preteen girl comes home obviously upset about something. While she tries to get her mom’s attention to talk about it, her mom is too wrapped up in her own work to give her daughter attention. Unfortunately the mother misses an important moment to connect and share information and thoughts about body image, sexual bullying, and sexuality with her daughter. Her daughter stomps out of the room, upset she wasn’t able to talk with the one person she wanted to share her frustrations. Who will she go to now? What kind of false information may she find out or how will she learn about dealing with this situation if it occurs again?

How Not to Talk to Your Kids about Sexual Behavior: Choices and Risks Ages 12-14

Parents sit their children down in order to discuss a consequence of sexual activity…STDs. Instead of a dialogue about this topic, these parents choose a “shock and awe” tactic to inform their children of a risk. This does not set the stage for an honest, open conversation with their children about sexuality and teen choices, at this time and in the future. After this situation, the kids may be hesitant to approach their parents again because the parents don’t appear to be open to honest dialogue.

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